Bear with my ramblings, or Where do I want to live?

I'm sure I'm not the only one. I can't be. Right?
I don't know where I want to live, and it's kinda tearing me apart. Not like, what state or country or anything. I love Oregon and have no desire to leave. It's just a matter of city vs country.
Currently we live in suburbia. It's what we could swing for a first house. And really, it's been pretty good so far. We have a great neighborhood with fabulous neighbors. It's quiet. We have a nice house, even though I can find faults. Heck, there's no perfect house, right? We have a good sized yard with room for the kids to play. We live in a nice, small town with lots and lots of really, truly friendly people.
But....
Yeah, there's always buts, huh.
We live about 40 minutes away from our homeschool group. With gas prices what they are--Ugh. It's also a ways to, well, everything. After all, we live in a small town. Of course, we do have lots of farms nearby which is heavenly. If only I would do better at utilizing them. We are getting our fresh milk now. And I try to take advantage of a few u-picks. I'm vowing to do better this year. (Food preserving with a baby should be interesting.) Also, our house is getting a little too small. With three boys and a mom and a dad it's getting a little tight.
So, we've talked about moving in the near future. But where???!!
I like the idea of moving closer in to the city so we can be close to everything and not have to drive very much. There are lots of neat neighborhoods that we might be able to swing $$ wise--assuming we can sell our house in the current market--or in a year. Living close in means we can take public transportation which would save a lot of money of fuel of course. We would have more opportunities to go to the places we love to hang out. The zoo, our favorite parks, museums, those kinds of things. There would potentially be more kids to play with as well as more moms to hang out with. Currently it is kind of a drag to get together with people since there is always the 30-60 minute drive to get there. There's no guarantee we would actually live close to people we like I guess. But being near more people does increase the odds.
On the other hand, we could live in the country. I have a desire to have land. To grow and produce more of our own food. It would be awesome to have tons of space for the boys to run and play in. To live somewhere where chores weren't so abstract. I mean really, vacuum? Why? Anyone with an ounce of sense knows what will happen to the floor by tomorrow. But on a farm, chores have meaning. You plant/tend/harvest crops because they will feed and nourish you. You preserve food because it will spoil otherwise. You feed and care for the animals because they are living beings. The natural consequences are in place. I'd love for the boys to learn the natural cycles of the earth. To experience the seasons, the ebb and flow. To see the whole life cycle. In the city, in our culture, we hide so much. I think that is very unhealthy.
There is security in producing your own food. Fuel prices are going up. It will be more and more difficult to acquire the foods we are used to. Being able to provide for our needs on our own would be very empowering to me.
But, what a heck of a lot of work. I don't think we could do it on our own. I have talked to friends about living in a commune. I don't think anyone has truly been serious about it. I'm not sure my husband could handle it! But I've been thinking about it more and more. Living with others is how I think we were meant to live. A group of people working together towards common goals is powerful. By ourselves, we would be almost trapped on a small farm. You can't just up and leave the animals. During the summer and fall, there is food to harvest and preserve. Spring is planting time, as well as birthing time. But in a group, you could rotate duties, or at least share. Those who are really good at planting can be in charge of that. Baking, cooking, building, teaching, healing, everything. It's not all on the shoulders of 2 adults.
There are so many pros and cons to each scenario. I go around and around them in my mind. I feel like saying, "okay, Lord. Tell me what to do." But I know He doesn't work that way by experience. I have to pick something, start down that path and ask for confirmation that it is the right one for me and my family.