Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Many who know me well, know that I'm not a particularly patient person. I realize that God is trying very hard to teach it to me. I'm not a quick study.
Anyway, one of the things I have a hard time with is waiting for the next season. Not Winter/Spring/Summer/Fall, but the next season of my life.
I got a bit spoiled by having a nearly 6 year break between my first 2 children. Maybe that was the blessing that came out of that incredibly tough time? But then G was such an easy child. I enjoyed sewing and knitting and many of my other persuits all the way through. Sure I had a few months at a time where it was hard to do different things, but I managed.
As soon as E was the least bit mobile--as in directing his chubby fingers were he wanted them to go--I lost much of my ability to persue my hobbies. I couldn't knit, read, sew, or even do much cooking. Granted, much of the cooking got done because I could wrap him and he couldn't reach it. But it is hard to have the fine muscle mobility to knit or sew with a baby squirming (hard!) on my back. One lunge and that piece of fabric/knitting needle goes flying! Yeah, that's talking from experience. Trust me. I tried.
Now that I have the 2 littles, it's even harder. Baby M would be pretty easy as far as crafting near her/wearing her. But E requires Constant Vigilance. Moreso when his sister is within reach.
I am trying to finish up advent calendars for each of the kids. I loved mine and feel so bad that they haven't had that experience. I get so frustrated only being able to work on then in such short snippits of time. This morning I was sewing (really sewing!) on a Christmas gift. I just wanted to finish one chunk of it. I pushed through a little too long. There were tears and frustrations all around. I feel so bad. I don't want my children to think of me as grumpy and mean, nor to equate mom's craft time with negative emotions. I get so, so much out of creating. It is theraputic and gives me that break that I think makes me a better mom/wife/person. But is it really working if I'm screaming at my kids while doing it?
I'm trying to tell myself that in just a short while I'll be able to craft again. E will take less one-on-one supervision. Baby M will not be a baby and will be a tough-as-nails little girl capable of taking out all 3 brothers if need be.
Posted by RasJane at 11:09 AM