Wanna ride my rollercoaster?

I swear, adopting is one of the freakiest rollercoasters out there.
2 weeks ago it was the shock of a baby. Then the worry of could we do it? Then, "yay! a baby!" Then the agency told us birthmom wanted to see other profiles. I was devestated. They called back later that day to say she just didn't understand that we did want the baby. Phew. Back to the frantic paperwork and preparations. C even cleaned the garage today. I'm amazed.
Then, agency calls today. Birthmom is questioning placing with us again. I am trying so hard to be patient and understanding. It is her baby, not mine. It is her choice and I have no say in it. But I so want this little boy. I so want to stop crying.
I keep telling myself that our child will come to us. This may not be our child, just the Lord's way of kicking our butt into gear since we didn't listen to the last prod to get paperwork started. Well, it worked, we got our paperwork done. The house is ready. I just don't know if I will be a mom to three on Sept 11 or later.
I hate rollercoasters. Not the theme park ones, and not the emotional ones. I need chocolate and a good book. Can I run away now? Thank goodness I have my 2 little guys and my 1 big guy. We had a good family hug on the couch. We could be childless and waiting for our first and going through this. I think that would be harder. And I know that even if she doesn't decide to place with us, that baby will go to a home where he is loved. We may even be allowed to have contact with him. That is some comfort too.
But, I'm selfish. I want this baby. Someday I'll grow up maybe. But I'm only 30 so I figure I've got a decade or so at least.

Food!

One of my big concerns with having a baby around is the lack of time to prepare food. Most people can have someone bring in a meal, or even swing by somewhere and get take-out. Not us. We have to deal with allergies to gluten, milk, eggs, nuts, corn, potato, sesame and other sensitivities. Eating out is a mine field. And the time it would take to teach someone to cook for us is well, it would just be easier to do it myself. So I decided to be smart and pre-prepare some food to have on hand to get me through the rough days. I am so proud of my accomplishments. I didn't get everything on my list done, but when I see what I did get done, I'm pretty happy. Besides, I can make a few really big meals the next few days and throw 1/2 in the freezer.
Here's my list of foods I have made in the last 2 days:
Meatballs-5 pkg
Cream of mushroom soup-6pkgs
honey mustard chicken-5pkgs
stuffed pork loin slices-7pkgs
chiken coconut curry-3pkgs
marinated pork strips-4pkgs
biscuit mix-2 gallon bags
pancake mix-1 gallon bag
pizza crust-5
spaghetti sauce-3 quart jars
chicken veggie soup-7 quart jars

There are no complete meals, but all I really have to do is crack open a pack of frozen veggies (from my well stocked freezer) and make noodles or rice. Even M can make dinner! I'm feeling much better now.

And, in the more good news department. Our birthmom has already been to the hospital with contractions, so our placing agency was getting a little antsy about paperwork. I wasn't really getting anwhere with our in-state agency so had placing agency call them directly. Worked like a charm. Last night our social worker came by to do the homestudy update interview and walk through. All we need to wait for now is our background checks to clear. Yay!!!
I got an email from in-state agency. To quote, "We are getting there! If this homestudy is completed within the next two weeks it will be the quickest one we have done since I have been with the agency – completely due to your diligence and tenacity in getting the paperwork in!" In other words, I've been a b**** to work with, but it's getting things done. I just want to say though, "IF?!" Of course it's gonna get done. That's my positive mantra for now. It's gonna get done.

Gift ideas for the boys

I can either make a list or link list but can't seem to do both. So, I'm making this post so I can link to it from the boys' lists. Make sense? OK
For M-
He is a scientist and loves science books. Lately he has really enjoyed the Usborne science books (history too) that are internet linked.
Letterboxing is something that we have done, but not as much as we would like. A letterboxing kit could include a compass, a small notebook, a small stamp and fun stamp pad, a pencil and maybe an orienteering book.
Books on CD are fabulous gifts. He would also enjoy an MP3 player (doesn't have to be top of the line) with audiobooks or a subscription to audible.com
He also wants a watch. A cool one that lights up when you push a button, cuz all my friends have watches." What was I thinking?! Almost 9 and no watch? What kinda mom am I?
M could also really use new hiking and camping gear. He grew himself right out of his sleeping bag, and pretty much trashed it in the process. There goes that hand-me-down idea.
Rain gear--I almost forgot about that. He's grown out of all the rain gear.

For G-
We really need more books for kids his age which depict kids in normal situations with skin colors other than pale pink. He loves pointing out kids in the books we have that have darker skins and saying, "like me!"
A sheet set that has fun things on it like fish, trains, race cars etc. NOT DISNEY I really don't want my kids sleeping in an advertisement.
One of those small bikes with the training wheels that come off. I can totally see him going 2 wheeler by next summer.
Also, rain gear. We don't have much rain gear in his size (3-4T). Probably because M didn't enjoy sitting in puddles as much as G seems to.

For baby-
Really mostly what I need are a cosleeper or other small bedside bassinet thing, and diapers. Most of my diapers have not made it though to a 3rd child very well. Granted they've done well considering many of them were slapped together or hand-me-downs to begin with. So prefolds, fitteds, pockets--whatever. In fact, I've got lots of fabric and notions and patterns. If someone wants to sew for me, knock yourself out!

I will add to these later, the kids are fighting over the computer...

Family Picture

Aren't we cute?

I scrambled all over the day of our pictures looking for coordinating outfits that were the right colors, no tears, no logos, no stripes and all the other "no-no's" for family pictures. I couldn't find a thing. I considered running to the store to buy some things to round out the picture. Then I stopped. "Wait," I said to myself. "This is a family picture that is supposed to be a way to capture us in 2007. If I have to go and buy clothes, it's not really an expression of us." I realized that we already had coordinating outfits that are very "us." So I made sure all they tie dye was clean and found some jeans without too many holes and we were good to go. I think we're pretty darn good looking personally.
Grammas, I have copies for you.

Itty Bitty Diapers

Since the sewing room is clean, I just had to use it. That and I don't have nearly enough diapers for a newborn. At least it doesn't seem like it. I know I made it through the last 2 just fine, but I'm pretty sure I'm missing a bag of diapers. Maybe it will be found during this weekend's garage purge.
Granted there are other things I should probably be doing--like paying attention to my children. To my credit, they've only had 1 movie today and they've played together and with the neighbors the rest of the day. They've been great actually.
So, the diapers are a preemie version of some pockets I have for G. It seems so weird to be sewing something so tiny since I've been making XL diapers for so long now. I wanted something that would be quick and easy to use on a very tiny squirmy baby. They have a waterproof (PUL) outer, a microfleece inner, aplix fastener, and I made double layer hemp fleece stuffers. I figure I can layer them for now and use them as doublers later. 'At's my plan anyway. I have 4 so far. It took me a couple of hours total and I used stuff I already had on hand. Beats the $15 or so per dipe plus shipping!

I think I'm nesting

For those of you who don't know, because I've been too frazzled to make sure everyone knows, we're adopting again. G's birthmom is due in September and wants us to adopt the baby. Since she is scheduled for an induction on the 11th, that means this is the fastest I've ever had a baby. Most people have about 9 months to prepare. We did with M, and it was just right. With G, we had two or three months, I can't remember. A little tight, but we did it. This time, 3 weeks. THREE WEEKS!!! So I have a lot of nesting to accomplish in a very short amount of time. On top of regular baby preparations such as digging through the garage trying to remember exactly which box is the newborn clothes and where the heck all those cloth diapers I knew I had went, we have paperwork. See, you can't just take someones baby even if they ask you to. Why not? Well....
First we need a homestudy and criminal background check and child abuse check. So our placing agency (the one where birthmother is) has to send a list of requirements to our in-state agency (where we are). In-state agency has to receive our application, 3 letters of reference, physicals for C and me, and background check paperwork. They send off the background checks to the state and cross fingers that someone at Oregon DHS isn't too busy with something else to process our paperwork which has been marked "RUSH". Then they have to decide as an agency that we are a good family to open a file on (or -re-open in our case). Then they have to send out a social worker to our house to ask a million questions and check to see that we have a house and it won't explode or isn't a hazardous waste dump and that we have a minimum standard of cleanliness (hence the nesting which we'll get to later). Then the social worker has to write up a report on us recommending us for adoption. This report has to be faxed to the placing agency (in Utah) where they shove it in a file and say, Great! Because at that point the baby is either already born or about to crown.
Then we get to stay in Utah for a while. Parental rights cannot be terminated before 24 hours and even after that, Utah, Oregon and our lawyer and our agencies have to have prolonged conversations which amount to, "adoption can be finalized in Oregon and the family can leave the state." After 2 more visits and another mountain of paperwork, we can call our baby ours approxamately 6 months later.
I think pregnancy was far easier.

Anyway, all this leads me to my nesting projects. For any of you who saw these two rooms in question before, you will be shocked. The sewing room really scared me. Terrified me. But I am so proud of the final result. Our dear friend volunteered 2 days of her time to help me. She is amazing and deserves much chocolate.

Here is the boy's room. I had a hard time getting good shots. Sorry. And the beds aren't made-but ya gotta pick your battles and for me-the bed ain't one of 'em.

My sewing room. It truly was scary before. I'm not kidding when I say I'm getting rid of a pickup load of shtuff. Most of it trash, and a bunch of Goodwill donations. I feel free!

Totally funny

You have to read this quick before Ebay pulls it/it expires. A pack of Pokemon cards for $142! But the story is priceless. Of course I read this as I prepare to welcome #3. I'm also heading over to her blog next.
I just have to say, for the record, I'm considering hiring a babysitter for grocery shopping trips. It's bad enough with 2.

It's not a Mormon song, but it is so funny and reminds me of some of the interesting things you see at RS functions.
It's called "Lime Jello Marchmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise." There's lyrics too. Listen and laugh my friends.

The After

I promised and here they are (Dad). It looks better. To me anyway. It really does give us more room and our stuff is better organized.
Please note (Grandparents and aunts and uncles) that these are very full bookcases. There is no more space. This is it. It is all. There is no more. Please be advised that large gifts will be looked on with frustration. Repeated violations may result in no-gift policies.

The fun begins

Ikea is here! Yippee!
So now we have all new furniture for the south wall of our house. Our dining room and living room are kinda the same room and share one long uninterrupted wall. I'm very excited to be replacing the furniture. It's good enough and has served us well for 11 years and countless moves. I think I counted up 8 moves for the entertainment center. One of them involved getting dropped out of the back of the truck and getting rolled down the hill to our apartment. Gotta love EQ.
Anyway, the new furniture is home and waiting to be put to use. We've gotten pretty far in the cleaning and clearing stage. C put all the books in two of the new bookcases so we have a hint of what it will all look like when it's done. I also moved out the old pantry and scooted the cupboard we used for homeschool materials over to the pantry location. Now I just have to put all the food back away. Whew. A few more days and it should look pretty decent. Right now it looks awful of course. There are so many piles of stuff everywhere. And it's tricky to get from the door to the rest of the house. But, it will all come together and look good right?
I do have piles of books I really don't need anymore though. Any takers??

The Before Pictures
I never really appreciated how bad it looks until I see a picture. 99% of that is my lousy housekeeping I admit.

Hike to Mirror Lake

Sunday we decided to go for a hike near Mt Hood. Mirror lake is gorgeous and an easy hike for the kids. We packed up and drove out to the trail head. It was so busy, but we managed to find a parking spot and get started. G carried the small pack for all of 5 minutes before handing it off to M. He was fine with that though. G did a really good job and made it almost to the lake before hopping in the backpack. We looked at the lake and then decided to head on up to Tom, Dick and Harry mountain. I get a kick out of that name. Maybe I should look up the history of it.
C was amazing! He carried G the rest of the way to the lake and the last bit up to the mountain. Then he carried him all the way down! That's about 35# of kid plus the Kelty pack. Needless to say, he was a bit sore the next day, and still is.
M was great too. He hiked all 7 miles with (almost) no complaint and set a good pace for us up to the lake. Fortunately for us, the huckleberries were in bloom. G hiked as far as he did for huckleberries. He'd walk a while, then get a handful, walk awhile, get a handful and repeat. It was slow, but effective.
At the top of Tom, Dick and Harry we were rewarded with an amazing view of the lake, Mt. Hood and the surrounding area. There were clouds over Hood, which made it even cooler looking I think. M was impressed by the fact that we got to walk through some clouds on our way down. They were blowing up over the ridge into the valley where the lake is.

Dad and the boys at the summit

Mom and the boys at the summit. Yes, the sun is in our eyes--big time!

Aww, init cute? Sun still in eyes...

My two sweet peas. They had a lot of fun finding rocks and things to climb up onto.
A note about the shirts. Everyone picked out their own clothes entirely on their own. I realized when we all got downstairs and started loading up bags, that we had all picked out tie-dye. So, now here are pictures of our creations in use. It was funny too, because people kept commenting on the trail about how cute it was that we matched. I guess we all just really like our tie-dye!

Peaches

113 pounds of peaches! I just wish I could transmit the smell of the back of our truck right now across the net. It is heavenly. So far I've put 12 peaches in the dehydrator and about 20 into the sauce pot for peach butter. 1/2 box down, gobs to go. I'll can a bunch since the boys love those, make some more peach butter and dehydrate the rest. I just have to dig out the big dehydrator and wash it up. It's been in the garage too long. I think I also need to have some of the screens fixed.
I also have a bunch of cukes again so I need to make more pickles. Yum. I might try fermented pickles again. I did do something to the other batch. It grew mold and got slimy, so I threw it out. Yuck. Sorry, Alisa, but we just love pickles. And, hey, aren't you supposed to like pickles now? Like with peanut butter and ice cream or something? Just kidding. Send me your address and I'll send you dried peaches instead, 'k? Dad, you have to just drive your little ol' self to Oregon to get your peach butter. If you hurry, I'll make peach pie.

You tell me

As per a discussion with some online friends about hair and such, I posted this picture. Is it long enough? Should it be longer? I'm considering dreads and/or dyeing it. Can't decide. Probably will turn out to be decision by default.
Its a crappy picture I know, but no one is here to take a picture of me. I realized in going through pictures that if something happened to me, my family would have very few pictures of me to look back on. Maybe that should tell me something about who's the camera hog in the family eh?